Thursday, November 29, 2012

"Yes, Jerry, they are real and spectaclar!"

My neighbors recently came over and we were talking about my upcoming surgery.  I filled them in with details about how I am setting up different consultations with plastic surgeons that specialize in different types of reconstructions.  As I was talking to them, I went into detail about the different types of reconstructions and the pros and cons of each.

I figured I would take a moment and share with you the different types of reconstructions and the choices I have to choose from.  To be honest, it would be so much easier if there was a one size fits all (total pun intended) reconstruction because that would make my decision making much easier.  However, I am left with the blessing (in disguise) of time so I can choose the right pair of boobies for me!
Before I break down the A, B, C’s of reconstructions (again a pun…I am on fire tonight) on picking out my breast, I am reminded of a Seinfeld episode about whether or not Jerry’s girlfriend’s breast were real.  In the episode his girlfriend, played by the one and only Teri Hatcher, is mused by Elaine and Kramer.  Kramer states the argument that her breasts are real because he has seen them before.  Elaine believes they are fake because they stay so perky and goes so far as to “trip” in a sauna where Hatcher was sitting to fall into her breast and get a good feel.  Jerry, however, could care less because he knows he has the whole package!  The show ends with Hatcher breaking up with Jerry because she finds out about the debate on whether her breast are real or fake and ends by walking out of Jerry’s apartment confirming, “Yes, Jerry, they are real and spectacular!”

Which brings me back to the question at hand, what kind of reconstruction is best for me?  There are two main types of reconstruction I can choose from: having implants put in or having my own fat and tissue taking from a donor site and use that to make breast.  I wonder, if I use my own fat and tissue, would my breast be considered real and spectacular?  It is my tissue and skin? 
Here is the breakdown with pros and cons if you are wondering:

Implants
* I would need two short surgeries, one to put in expanders that would get filled with fluids every two weeks until I get to my desired size (we all know I am going Dolly Parton style so it might take a while…okay I am full of crap there is no way I am going that big) and one to put the final implants in (con, I hate going to the doc , so going every two weeks would blow)
*After having implants put in I would no longer have sensation in my breast (con)
*Implant surgery has a quicker recovery (pro)
*This type of reconstruction is in-network so my insurance would pay more (pro)
*The shelf-life of implants are about 10 years (did you know that!!??) I am a young hot woman which means I would need to get new boob s at least two more times (con)
* I would have to choose either saline or silicone which means I have something foreign in my body (con)
*I would have boobs of a 20 year old when I am 80 (con!)

Tissue Flap
* Longer recovery that is slightly risker for infections (con)
Free lipo in my butt…hell yeah (pro)
My own tissue and fat that will be placed into my chest at the size I want in the first surgery (pro)
I could get up to 80% feeling back into my breast because of nerve regeneration (pro)
* The only surgeons are out of network and out of state so we would have to travel and pay more (con)  
*  Using donor tissue I would never have to have surgery on my breast again (pro), they will grow with me and sag with me (boo!)

That is the basic breakdown.  Probably not the most exciting blog but at least it was informative.  To be real for a moment, I really am nervous about making the decision.  The surgery does not scare me as much as being concerned with which surgery is going to be best for my body.  My body will be going through immense changes and I want to make sure that in the end I can look at myself in the mirror and love what I see.

2 comments:

  1. Amazingly informative and witty. Your sense of humor through all of this is beautiful. This blog had me smiling, chuckling and left very educated on two important procedures you will be choosing from. Thank you again for sharing this incredible journey. I love you.

    -G

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  2. We love you too! and everything else G said above! thanks for sharing!

    D

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