What's the big deal?

Joy to be celebrated mom has been in remission for 11 months! 

But wait….mom had called me to make plans for a mother-daughter date at Starbucks one Saturday afternoon.  I loved our Starbucks dates and looked forward to this one!  We sit down outside, mom with her strawberry cream frappuccino and me with my skinny vanilla latte, and begin to shoot the breeze.  Then without notice, almost like word vomit, mom interrupts me to say she needs to talk to me about something.  My heart skips a beat and without hesitation mom shares, her cancer had returned.  “Metastatic breast cancer that has moved to my lungs”, she says.  I sit there dumbfounded like I have been bowled over by an incredible force.  I did not know what to say and crying was out of the picture.  I was ready to move… “let’s conquer this thing” mentality.  Instead of telling me how she was going to “fix” herself mom preceded to tell me that her doctors have asked her to get a genetic test done to see if she is BRCA positive.  She explained to me, if I am positive for this mutated gene you have a 50/50 chance of having it too and if I am negative there is nothing for me to worry about.

A week later, she finds out she is BRCA2 positive.  CRAP!  I thought, but mom insisted I get the genetics test done too.  Her motto, “it’s better to be proactive than reactive.”  Long story short (yep said it again) my test came back positive too.  The ironic part I was ready to “fix” me and be proactive, mom’s lesson!  Sadly, mom felt so much guilt that she had “given” this mutation to me and made me promise I would take care of my health and body and have a mastectomy.  My thoughts, at 25, sure no big deal.  For those who are not familiar with the genetic mutation, I am over 85% at risk for breast cancer after the age of 35.  That is 10 years from now and I can talk a big game and sound confident that I am going to take care of this!

Well, four years later and it’s time.  Honestly, I have never felt nervous about the surgery at all.  I have prepared in my mind, this is what mom asked me to do and I made her a promise, so I am going to follow through.  Let me tell you, now that the cards are on the table, my poker face is becoming less obvious.  I am currently reading a book that was suggested to me from a support group I attend (FORCE) called The Breast Reconstruction Guidebook.  The book talks about all the different types of reconstructive surgery I can have, from implants (saline or silicon) to flap surgery where they take fat from a donor site (more than likely my butt) and create new breasts from that.  Hey free liposuction….hummm!  Joking aside, this part is overwhelmingly scary.  I find myself getting mad at times because I don’t know what surgery to choose, which is right for my body, when should I set up consults, ect.  Even writing this is making me feel anxious!  On that note….I am going to “woo-saw” and start at square one.  Call some different plastic surgeons and begin setting up consults.