Mom's life lessons, Happy Mother's Day!

Considering the fact that today is Mother’s Day and my blog is entitled “Mom’s Life Lessons” I thought I would take some time to share the lessons of life my mom left behind.  I love you, Ma!

1.       Number one and one of the BEST pieces of advice my mom ever gave me (because it is OH, so true): “Where there is a ball there is a boy.”  When I was learning how to drive she taught me that if a ball rolls out in the road inevitably a boy will be running behind it!  “Go ahead and break to stop otherwise you will end up running over a child and that makes for a bad day” she would tell me.  That lesson has saved the lives of many youngsters!  Thank you, ma J

2.       “Keep up with your I love yous.”  You never know when the last time may be to say, I love you.

3.       “When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.”  As far as I am concerned, lemonade is good one of two ways either on hot summer days only or mixed in with vodka!  So, that leaves the question, what do I do if it’s cold and I have no alcohol????  Damn…I never got to ask her that (I welcome suggestions!)

4.       “Love is a choice.”  This was something she felt very strongly about and tried to instill in myself and my siblings.  In fact this lesson was so important to her it was shared at her memorial.  She believed that life will have its ups and downs and in the moments that bring great despair, trials, and tribulations you must choose to love that person unconditionally.  I appreciate this lesson and honestly it’s difficult for me sometimes to wrap my head around.  However, I know that when communication falters or someone does something that shakes my faith in them then I have to make the choice to love them no matter what.  I feel like this belief parallels the love that God has for all of us because we will disappoint him, we will disregard him, but he chooses to love us no matter what.

5.       “Know where all your buttons and knobs are in the car so you don’t have to take your eyes off the road.”  Obviously, she had a concern for my safety while driving but this has come in handy.  I can flip through all my radio stations in the car and never look down!

6.       “It’s okay to show your emotions, it shows people it is okay to be venerable.”  I love this lesson and I work hard to follow it.  I have a huge difficulty letting down my walls and feeling my feelings for other people to see.  When someone asks me how I am doing, if I am not doing well my go to response is, “I’m fine.”  I have learned (thanks to my therapist…sorry ma) that fine stands for: Fucked up, Insane, Neurotic, and Emotional!  That about sums up feelings I try to bottle up.  But, mom is right; people need to see emotion because it shows a healthy balance of life.  Who is happy all the time??  With that being said, a co-worker asked me last week how I was feeling about my upcoming surgery and instead of the “I’m fine” statement, I shared with her my feelings of being melancholy and strangely enough that I am having body image issues of which I have not had in a looonnnggg time.

7.       “Be your own advocate.”  She felt this is especially true in the medical world because doctors/people often look out for their best interest not yours.  My thoughts…. “Be you own advocate” okay, I AM AWESOME just because, nuf said!

8.       “When you go slow, you go faster.”  This is a mantra I work at when I am feeling overwhelmed.  This was one of her sayings and it is so true if you think about it. 

9.       “Don’t be a victim.”  I know Ginny’s dad has said this to her too, but it is so annoying!  When you are in the “woe is me” moment the last thing I want to hear is my mother saying, “Now Cara, don’t be a victim. Do something to change the situation or get off your pity pot.”  Though I roll my eyes and get aggravated at this statement, the ironic part is that I use the same statement to my students, to Ginny, to my friends!  Go figure!

10.   “You are Beautiful!”  I’ll leave this life lesson for you J

 

Happy Mother’s Day, Ma!  I love you and thank you for all you have taught me.  May you be the stone thrown into the water that ripples out and teaches, touches the lives of many people!